Abuse in relationships often begins subtly. Early warning signs, also known as ‘red flags,’ may seem minor at first but can escalate over time. Recognising these behaviours early can help prevent further harm and guide you to take proactive steps toward safety.
Early Warning Signs
Early Warning
Signs of Abuse
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Understanding Early Signs
Recognising red flags early can help prevent abusive behaviours from escalating. Common red flags include:
- Isolation From Support & Community
- Emotional Manipulation
- Monitoring & Control
- Escalation of Commitment
- Jealousy & Accusations
- Threats & Aggression
Isolation From Support & Community
Restricting access to family, friends and communities is a tactic to make you more dependent. Pay attention if your partner criticises or discourages your other relationships and friendships.
Emotional Manipulation
Consistent criticism, put-downs, or emotional games can erode your confidence and sense of self.
Monitoring and Control
Excessive calls, tracking your whereabouts, or checking your phone without consent are signs of controlling behaviour.
Escalation of Commitment
A partner pushing for quick commitment can be an attempt to establish control. Watch for behaviours like rushing into living together or making long-term decisions prematurely.
Jealousy and Accusations
Unfounded jealousy and accusations of infidelity can create guilt and restrict your independence.
Threats and Aggression
Throwing objects, yelling aggressively, or making you feel scared are significant red flags that can escalate into further violence.
I am experiencing red flag behaviour in my relationship.
If you’ve recognised any of these warning signs, remember:
- Stay Safe: If you can’t leave and are in immediate danger, call the police at 000.
- If you feel unsafe but are not in immediate danger, call Safe Steps. If you can, try to go to a trusted friend’s or relative’s house. Learn more.
- Seek Support: You are not alone. Contact a trusted friend, family member, or a Safe Steps Family Violence Crisis Specialist for guidance and support.
- Stay Informed: Learn more about family violence and controlling behaviours. Understanding these dynamics can empower you to make informed decisions.
Myths & Facts
It’s Just Their Personality
Controlling or jealous behaviors are not normal and should not be excused as personality traits.
It’ll Get Better Over Time
Without intervention, controlling behaviours often escalate.
They Don’t Mean to Be Hurtful
Intentions don’t change the impact of abusive behaviours. Your feelings and safety are valid.
Links to More Information & Resources
Learn more about family and domestic violence:
For people who are concerned about their own behaviour or are using violence:
Specialist Family Violence Services:
You Deserve to Feel Safe
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Safe Steps is committed to ensuring diversity, inclusion and equity are embedded throughout our organisation for the benefit of our clients and our staff. We are committed to a focus on recognising and eliminating discrimination in the services we deliver. Read our Diversity, Inclusion and Equity Statement here.
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Safe Steps Family Violence Response Centre is supported by the Victorian Government.
